Tag Archives: housesitting

My Imaginary Puppy

6 Apr

Somebody knocked on the front door for the sixth or seventh time today, and I totally ignored it. I should make a sign: “This is not Stuart’s personal nightclub.” There are all these randoms coming in and out of the house I am supposed to be looking after, and I apparently have no say. It’s frustrating too because I am supposed to be responsible in all this, as the designated housesitter. Woe. I would have left already if I thought the animals would get looked after at all if I weren’t here.

Nath just played a particularly cruel joke on me. The house phone rang, I answered, and didn’t expect him to be calling me on that number nor did I recognize his voice (my head is so stuffed up, everything sounds as though I’m underwater). This was our conversation –

Nath: Hello.
Bunny: Hello.
N: … hi.
B: Oh, sorry, this is L’s partner C’s daughter Bunny, who is housesitting while they are in Europe. Who is this?
N: I’m one of C’s friends, from university. Would you like to buy a puppy?
B: Um, what?
N: Well, actually, you can have it. I’m going overseas.
B: Sorry, why are you calling? Who is this?
N: I’m friends with your Dad and I was just calling around to see if anybody wanted my puppy.
B:…. how old is it? What breed? How long do you have to go overseas for?
N: She’s about 9 months old, pomeranian. I’m leaving permanently.
B: (just about dies of happiness) Oh oh oh! I am super interested! Um, I actually have a maltese-pomeranian who needs a playmate! Does she have a name already?
N: Ummm… yeah. Po…. Possum.
B: Possum? Um, okay.
N: Well, you better call Nathan and ask him then.
B: (has one of those “the call is coming from inside the house” moments)…. how do you know his name?
N: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA etc

Then in my imagination, I punched him in the face and broke his nose. In reality, I burst into tears.

To be fair, he was extremely apologetic. But no forgiveness tonight. If he magically found a way to teleport here with chicken noodle soup, panadol, Posie and this imaginary puppy, I might change my mind.

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